The Science Doesn’t Lie (but your inner-critic might…)
Hi friend,
Do you believe – on at least some level – that the drill-sergeant inside your head is driving you forward?
Or have you ever bristled at the idea of softening your self-criticism because you think it’s the secret for your success?
If so, please know that you are not alone in this – but that it’s also time for you to revise your thinking.
As counterintuitive as it may sound (and, believe me, I know it does!), research in neuroscience shows that, rather than driving you forward, your inner-critic has actually been holding you BACK from reaching your highest potential all along.
That is, your drive for excellence is in fact distinct from your perfectionism, and you’ve actually been succeeding DESPITE your self-doubt and self-criticism, not because of it.
What’s more, if you can learn to replace your fear and shame-based motivation with self-compassion, not only will it NOT turn you into a lazy, complacent marshmallow (I’ll admit I totally feared that would be the case!), you will soar so much higher than you ever imagined possible.
Skeptical?
I get it. I was, too!
But I encourage you to check out a recent conversation I had with Aoife O’Brien on the Happier at Work Podcast, where we unpack the science behind how this all works and explore how perfectionism impedes both happiness and peak performance in the workplace.
I also share my personal story of how I learned this all the hard way, and we discuss two concrete strategies that high-achievers can use to reclaim control from their perfectionist impulses and infuse their personal and professional lives with the engagement, connection, vitality, and purpose that their inner-critics and drill sergeants will never deliver.
You can watch a snippet of our conversation below and listen to the full episode here. I would love to hear what you think!
If you find yourself inspired to deploy the strategies that Aoife and I discuss, my Self-Compassion Guide and Values Discovery Guide are the perfect tools to get you started.
And, as always, please don’t hesitate to reach out if there’s any way I can support you in taking these steps.
In the meanwhile, know that I am rooting for you.
With love,
Jordana
P.S. In case you missed it, I recently joined Jonah Perlin and Eli Albrecht for a live taping (the first ever!) of the How I Lawyer Podcast, in which we explored whether and how it’s possible to maintain your well-being while practicing law.
(Spoiler alert: It is! But you have to be very intentional about it.)
In our conversation, which I am pleased to note includes quite a bit of spirited debate, we address complicated questions, including:
What tools and strategies are most essential and powerful for maintaining well-being in the legal profession?
PRACTICALLY speaking, how can a lawyer actually implement those strategies in the context of a hyper-stressful/demanding job?
To what extent can individual changes make up for organizational issues anyway? Is this a battle that’s even worth waging on the individual front?
And perhaps the most contentious topic of our discussion: BOUNDARIES — Should we be drawing them? Can we? And if so, how?
You can listen to that full episode here. I can’t wait to hear what you think!
